Tuesday, March 27, 2012

exclusive by the Daily Chocolate seagull

Above: Fishguard Rugby Club could be compared to this before Chocolate Seagull started playing for them and as legend goes 'built it up from the ashes' some people say that when Fishguard is ever threatened with invasion the Seagull will again return and save it
My front row would be the same as yours,
1. Jenkins
2. Best
3. Jones
I'm fucking fed up of reading in the English press how good their front row is just because they stuffed the Irish scrum, my daughters are better scrummagers. Cole is a cunt and Corbisiero is American.
This would also be my choice for 6 nations front row
.4. Gray
5. Evans
Great tournament from both these long twats, with Donnacha Ryan not far behind. 6 nations side would include Pape instead of Evans, mainly because he's horrible.
6. Lydiate
7. Warburton
8. Falatau
Now the best back row unite in the world, I'd genuinely allow each of these gentlemen to double fist me, sans KY. Ferris pushing Lydiate close and would be a great bench selection. Only one player in the world would improve this unit, and that is Parisse, so he makes it into the 6 nations side. Again fed up of hearing about England's fabulous back row, The Daily Chocolate Seagull says they are shit, Morgan is fat and unfit(though will be good once fit)(wont happen, love pies and cock)Robshaw is a cunt. Also probably the most over rated back rower in the championship. Croft i like, but is still probably only the 4th best blindside in the competition.
9. Phillips
All the other scrum halves in the home nations are really really shit, so no competition for him, though my 6 nation side would include the calfless Georgian Yachvilli, excellent stratatician and as the outside halves aren't exceptional candidates, his experience would be needed.
10. Sexton
Priestland a good back up, Farrell too slow.
11. North Say - no more
12. Roberts(lions) Fofana(6nations) - The Frenchman is quick and exciting, Roberts is probably gay.
13. Jon Davies Outstanding in every game, and now approaching world class. Best defending 13 was Barritt, otherwise he's shit.
14. Bowe - Cuthbert did well but is too raw for Lions level yet, my back up wing would be Halfpenny, therefore
15. Kearney - Good brave tournament from the king of pikeys, Halfpenny was awesome, but yourman shades it, place 1/2penny on the bench and you have best back 3 sub in rugby. Foden is an exciting runner and funnily enough doesn't seem to be a cunt.
Over and out,

6 comments:

Spen the Viking said...

Why don't you just pick the Wales XV? What an incredibly blinkered selection.

The Chocolate Seagull said...

Well they did win the Grand Slam after all, therefore it is safe to presume that a majority of the Welsh team were better than the rest. Only 1 english player almost made it into the side, and he even plays in Wales!!!

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KIng of the Gays said...

You can argue about the various merits of the selections one way or the other but my BBC Sports headline would have probably read "6N Team Announced", rather than

"Lions 2013: Jonny Wilkinson out but Sam Warburton is captain"

There are lots of other people NOT in the Lions squad this year. It's not an exhaustive list, but so far I have Kenny G, John the Baptist (who it is rumoured ruled himself out in a letter to the Corinthians and wouldn't have been available for Sunday fixtures anyway) , Boss Hogg and the perennial nearly-girl, Rusty Lee (how disappointed she must be, not to be on the plane, what does she need to do to turn Gatland's head?

I am pleased that at least the Daily Express has managed to show some dignity in not shining a light on to the disappointment Princess Diana must be feeling, not to have even made the mid-week side.

A sad day for journalism although I understand that the Media Ombudsman is calling for balance to the article and has demanded that a full list of other things Jonny hasn't done be published. This has caused some difficulties behind the scenes as all team Jonny can identify is the bending of light through thought processes alone and getting more than 19p in coppers up his japper. Apparently he is experiencing difficulties at the 15p mark, caused by all that time spent standing like he was touching cloth at the windy end of Twickers.

A sad day for sports journalism I feel.

Go on then Spen, let's have your unblinkered team selection.....if you mention Dusty Hare again, there's going to be a rucus.

KIng of the Gays said...

Just realised, headline should have said "Lion's Squad, not 6N Squad"