The Lions from our giant Yank on the ground.............

Above: Big Doug or Big Bri - both big, both hairy, both lovers of Ale and nums and both batshit mental

Your Viking War Leader and Skip will be filing match reports via twitter from the REDs match in Brisbane along with our special guest Spenny,  who will be giving you local color as well as being named Tour Entertainment Director. From the match in Newcastle against the….well, whomever, I forget, we may or may not remember to check in seeing how it’s a scant two nights after the match in Brisbane – I don’t recover as quickly as I used to. We somehow managed to not get tickets for the Warratahs match in Sydney – so we will watch it from “The Rugby Club” and fart in your general direction – that should suffice. We will however, be in full force for the Brumbies in Canberra  with color commentary provided by Paddo Pete, before returning to Brisbane for the First test in Brisbane where all mega-babble will be coming from Tour HQ at Gilhooley’s or Spenny’s kitchen or both!

At some point we may have time for some sober reflections upon the tour, but don’t count on it.

We will also be spending some time on the coast between Brisbane and Sydney, not to mention at the BOLO and the local league clubhouse in Geeringong – recharging and lubricating.

Cheers, Doug your Viking War Leader

Touring - modern styley!!!

Above: Richard Hibbard is the centre of attention during the 'night before the second test' party

The further the time from the event the greater the distance from the actual facts. A simple story about being crazy on a dance floor in Prague becomes the time half the boys snorted 12 grammes of class A drugs from a hookers chuff. A funny fall in a pub becomes a western styled brawl while a fall over the line in a close game becomes a length of the field jinking mega try. Dalliances with crocyhippofrogs become nights of passion with wanton luscious uber babes.  The Lions tours are full of stories but rather than being full of hyperbole you want to think that there is a lot of truth to the stories.

Why I am going down this track? I wonder that due to the professional rugby player and the regimentation of their lives and the countries ways of playing coupled with 24 hour rolling news and social media that those stories may be at an end. I am sure if Mikey Phillips had been duffed up by some bouncers on a tour in the 70s it would be in a funny story book 30 years later instead he was hauled over the coals by everybody and their dogs – remember fat baby Tuilagi and his jump from a ship? It was nice to see that Danny Cipriani was so pissed he was run over by a bus recently but how many stories like that are going to come out of the Lions tours?

The way these guys are it probably won’t be more than this:

Hi George North here – I remember a great story from the Lions tour of 2013, thirty years ago. Me, Owen Farrell and Leigh Halfpenny were really restless so we decided to flaunt the rules and let rip so we all went to Nandos and The Owen (that was our nickname for him because his name was Owen) ordered chicken in a pitta and he used hot peri peri sauce AND garlic Peri Peri sauce…….TWO SAUCES!!! Then we started laughing because a girl was looking at us.

Hi Dylan Hartley here – no one was speaking to me because I am a big cunt so I decided to go back to my room and phone Chris Ashton and tell him how hard everything is. When I got into the room it was like world war fucking 3. Richie Gray who I was rooming with had invited Adam Jones, Richard Hibbard and Geoff Parling to watch Freaky Friday and do their hair – there was styling wax and hair straighteners all over the place! Those guys……….

One night after playing the Queensland Reds Me (Alun Wyn Jones) and Sean o Brien got into a pillow fight and then Neil Jenkins came in and shouted at us and he said ‘bloody’. I thought it was funny but Sean was really upset and pissed the bed. 

Now time for some real rugby news

Above: Darth Vader (originally from lower town) played rugby for Vikings and the 2nds in the 6th form. He says he owes his dark side to Rolf and Rocket when he played for Fishguard youth.

A move away from the Lions and the superstars of world rugby to talk about a game at the other end of the spectrum. When I say other end I mean with regards to money, facilities and opportunities because when it comes down to commitment, pride and passion then there will be no difference between the 15 players who represent the British and Irish Lions in the 1^st test in Australia and the 15 players from Fishguard and Goodwick RFC when they run out this Saturday at the Millennium Stadium.

The Seagulls have reached the final of the Swalec Bowl and their game against Wattstown RFC is the curtain raiser to the curtain raiser but to the players, their friends and families and the many people of Fishguard and the surrounding areas who know how important the rugby club is to the towns – this is the main event. Anybody who doubts these words were not there in a grey and be-drizzled Loughor to see F&G RFC win in the semi- final. They didn’t see how much the win meant to players and fans and they didn’t see the tears of pride in the faces of the coaches.

As I have repeated time and time again, rugby is about more than 80 minutes, it’s about bettering yourself, it’s about friendship, shared experience, Mikey rayers, weekends away and sessions of biblical proportions, it’s about pride in yourself, your team mates, your mates and the place where you are from.

This Saturday the Seagulls will take the long walk from the home changing room to the pitch that has seen Grand Slam champions and winners of World and European Cups. 

They shouldn’t feel alone. 

They will have with them  their backroom team on the side lines, the hard working committee members and the hundreds of supporters in the stadium who have travelled up to the nation’s capital by train, bus and car and they have with them many others waiting by text, email and twitter for the result.

They’ve already made history getting there– time to make some more.