Dear Rugby can i have that 80 minutes of life that i wasted yesterday back please

Above: Yesterday's game

I was brought up in a rural area and have been on many farms but I have never seen such a pile of shit as there was on offer in the Stadio Olympico yesterday. The England team were so shit that I nearly felt sorry for them and Italy really worked hard and succeeded in being even shitter. It was like watching two extremely thick, ham fisted people playing bouncy catch with a power ball. Can you imagine sitting in a room with no windows and the noise of Jo Brand reading out the phone book for 24 hours being pumped into it – it was that excruciatingly boring. That game has probably put Italian rugby back about 10 years. Italy was so bereft of ideas that I think the Lovechickens would have won comfortably against them. Now as soon as I say anything negative about the English rugby team I am accused of being biased so I think it important to tell these people to fuck off and grow up before saying that if you were happy with that performance then maybe you should go and support kissball with all the other one eyed people. I don’t know whats wrong with them because they have some great players, I certainly like the look of Foden and I mean that in a rugby way not in a try and finger him at the back of Kiwis way. Farrell did some decent work but they looked as dangerous as my Aunt Jeanie from Narberth. For Welsh fans the bad news is that if England picked a lot randomly selected bingo goers from Lincolnshire for the next game they would be an improvement so this team may even click for the big game at HQ in 2 weeks time.
Above: A young fan receives the news that his dad has got him tickets to the next Italy game
Did you spookily notice that I didn’t put up a blog about the France Ireland game? Well I was playing a game of strip kerplunk with Derek the weatherman on Thursday and he let slip that it was going to be a cold one so I didn’t bother. It must be gutting for those poor supporters who made their way over from Ireland or up from the south west of France but the referee made a brave call which was probably the right one. Todays game was a pretty good one – thoroughly entertaining and of course I enjoyed the win. I cant help feel sorry for Andy Robinson that Scotland don’t get the results – if they had played like that against England they would have slaughtered them but they didn’t so they didn’t. I thought Wales played well but they didn’t have a spring in their step, even when the tries came. Toby played well and so did Cuthbert and Halfpenny, I wouldn’t have minded seeing Roberts look around sometimes and I loved the break in the end. That Hogg played well and looks pretty dangerous and was unlucky not to be awarded his try. The ref was shit and would’ve been better suited to reffing Saturdays ‘game’.

Nice to see that massive twat John Inverdale managed to get a mention of Jonny Wilkinson out on Saturday when he mentioned that Ireland could not take on France next week because Stade Francais were playing against him...just him at the Stade de France, i wonder if he makes Mrs Inverdale wear a Jonny mask when they have snuggles with jimmy penetration?

So now we wait to see what will happen to the Ireland france game and look forward to Wales England, France Scotland and Italy Ireland – triple crown game – excited?