arse pundits

Above:.......................and then i sneaked into his room. Do you know what? I was this close to getting of with Jonny before security found me..........

Lovechickens HQ gets a hell of a lot of emails (Why not comment on the blydi blog!?!) either moaning or extolling the virtues of commentators and pundits. Not long ago arch moaner King of the Gays wrote this beautiful piece of work

'Butler will have been busy. I expect metaphor, drama, historical reference, hyperbole and square rimmed glasses. And a nice coat and scarf combo. Oh, and misty breath, definitely misty breath. We've had misty forest and muddy playing field, so I think EB is going to be waxing lyrical from a frozen duck pond using a bemused swan to illustrate something vague about serenity on the surface and power beneath. And how to live on Mighty White. Right hand will gesticulate wildly, left hand will remain pocketed. Whole thing will end on a question mark and a raised eyebrow'.

although its a little tongue in cheek, its true, no one does a piece to camera like the Bard-like Butler. He's almost like a posh Fresh Prince of Bel air but white and not cool as fuck or a teenager but he remains an enigma, liked and disliked equally. So does Brian Moore, Butler's 'Jazzy Jeff' to his 'Fresh Prince'. When he was a player everybody not wearing a white shirt thought that he was a complete and utter cock and without a shadow of a doubt, he was but the public school boys of the south and the weird subterrain backwards folk of the north of England loved him. And why not? He reigned supreme in a fanastic English pack, he was never short of a few words to generate a bit of excitement and he never took a step backwards. As a pundit a lot of people do not rate him but at least you get a bit of earthy, solid, honesty from him. His arguments with Eddie are funny and it shows they care. He may look like a scrotum sack with facial features but he knows his stuff - fuck rules - everytime a scrum half feeds Ballsack face Brian should be sent in to sort them out.

From the fucking ugly to the fucking sublime - Jerry Gusgott. Class in the centre and class in the studio even though he looked like a cock a while ago with that scarf. I really enjoy it when you have him, Woody and Jiffy in the studio together. Although I still find it hard thinking Jerry was ever a bricky. ok what about the others - when he first started Jonathan Davies (Jiffy) looked like he had come straight from Chip alley and a night having sick competitions in Kiwis to the studio. I think age must have changed him and he his 'bangs' 'numbers' and 'dummy runners' have become as famous as the large gonked one himself. Andy Nichol - shit.

I didnt like Steve Ryder, he was smug and annoying but compared to John inverdale he was Bill Maclaren. There is something of the Alan Partridge about John, he really grips my shit but you have to give credit where its due that he could turn any conversation from the banking crisis to homosexual monkeys having at it all the time back to Jonny Wilkinson. He mentions him more than i mention him mentioning it and thats a lot. I'd prefer Jason Mohammed or Craig Doyle to front up rather than Inverdale. If both teams havent score 7 tries each by half time in the style of a rampant Fijian sevens side against a young St Kitts and Nevis thirds then he thinks its a shit game and when the whistle goes at the end of 40 minutes it comes back to his sad, glum, shit face in the studio, shrugging his shoulders asking his fucking guests why these two evenly matched well drilled international sides arent running around like demented twats entertaining his shitness in the style that he is accostomed to - the twat (breathe).

anyway thoughts on commentators and pundits although i will add that a few weeks ago i listened to the Scotland France game on the radio - it was fantastic.....