Lesbians on the beach
Swansea sluts
Swansea girls and pulling
fat bloke
love chickens ( I know - someone out there typed in love chickens and actually meant just that)
With this in mind we have asked a new contributor Mr Andy Slagg to inform any newcomers to the page and rugby about the sport we love.....
Rugby for the Beginner
Rugby is a simple game, 15 players do battle against 16. Although your team should be different shapes and sizes, they can be classed as follows... Your team is made up of 8 piano shifters and 7 piano players. Piano shifters are the big strong lads whose knuckles drag lower to the ground than most. Piano players are what tend to look like girls with testicles... Unless any are called George, Jamie or Manu...
No matter which side you play on, the ref seems to be supporting the other team... You start by kicking the ball away to the opposition, and spend the next 40 minutes trying to get it back. Players go forward by passing the ball backwards until someone knocks the ball forward.
Once this happens, 8 of your forwards (piano shifters) get together in a scrum and try to push the other forwards off the ball. This is not a 'cwtch' 'cuddle' or Huddle. If you suffer from paranoid tendencies, don't worry they are not talking about you. Their number 9 puts the ball in at an angle to stop your players getting at it. Once the scrum pushes, heaves and collapses several times, the ref calls a penalty try and gives one of your players a rest for 10 minutes.
The numbers 9 and 10 are called 'halves'. They are whole people and don't count as one between them. Their job is to get the ball to the 'three quarters', of which there are only another two. Wings are players that try to attack in-field, leaving hookers (not to be confused with women met on stag do's) out on the wing to attack. Your full back is the guy in the opposition half who is trying to get back the ball he kicked 20 seconds ago.
The whole point is to score a 'try'. this is when you touch the ball on the ground behind the posts, after which your kicker gets to kick the ball over the bar. If the ref is the remotely bit unsure, he asks another official to watch it on TV instead.
My final part is for Welsh people and the need to decide who you want to support. The Rooster tells me that if you live in any other country please feel free to send in info on teams there. If you live in Cardiff, you will support the Blues. If you live in the valleys, you will support anyone BUT the Blues. If you live by Newport or have an ugly wife you will support the Dragons. If you come from Swansea or from the Swansea Valley, then Ospreys is your team. If your a Gog, Turk, Cardie, or don't know much about rugby, then Scarlets is your team.
Rugby must be accompanied with a can of beer and fast food. Failure to follow this essential step will severely effect your rugby experience.
Now that you're almost an expert, give it a go!
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