Aussies Come Second - Lions Second to Last, an alternative analysis by Andy Slagg

Now the dust has settled, we can dissect the game and see what it's all about. They complain about 'whinging Poms', but there are none that like losing least than the cons, err, sorry, the Aussies. They scored a mighty 21 points to a Lions measly 23, with their winger scoring the same number of tries as the whole of the lions team together. Their points tally was further thwarted by the posts bring in the wrong place, or another 14 points could have been scored. An official complaint has been filed to the local council.
Below: Kurtley Beale is auctioning off one of his magic daps from the first test

Even a lending hand from a benevolent ref couldn't help further, his last minute penalty was awarded as a Lions lock accidentally farted without prior permission. I have heard from Lovechicken HQ that they believe this unnamed player was lucky not to be red-carded in such circumstances. Ref Pollack was nearly awarded the freedom of Sydney too, and I'm not talking about some dodgy Australian bloke either.

 

From all accounts, their fans are taking this badly. They've stopped tying kangaroos down until further notice and top supermarket KMart has dropped the price of Anusol with all that buttock clenching. Our advice to Australians is to buy it in bulk as there's two more tests to go.