hard hitting FACTS revealed

Above: Not the start of the affair. Howley: 'don't make eye contact or they will know about us now just brush your hand against my jimmy........'

 

We at Lovechickens HQ can publish in this very blog probably one of the most hard-hitting exposes in the history of rugby. It seems that flat topped super coach Warren Gatland would rather choose ex Prime Minister Gordon Brown or annoying childrens presenter fm the 80s/90s Gaz Top to play for the Lions then the multi talented James Hook. Our non stop research, interviews and undercover filming, without doubt show, that James Hook did not have an affair with backs coach and on camera misery Rob Howley or with Warren Gatland’s wife, nan or auntie. We can further reveal that James Hook:

• Took no part in the printing of the dodgy dossier leading to the outbreak of the Iraq war.

• Did not bring the entire economy of the western world to the brink of collapse in 2008 leading to a worldwide depression not seen since the 1930s.

• Has not used poisonous gas against Syrian rebels.

• Did not hand the ball into the back of the net giving his country, Argentina, a 2-1 victory over England in a Kissball world cup.

• Has not killed loads of prostitutes in the most dreadful and gory way in the east end of London at the turn of the 19^th century.

• Was not born in Austria becoming a shit artist, be a corporal in the war, get interested in politics, write mein kampf in prison, grow a silly moustache, pushed the boundaries of legality in extending his borders, test all his gear in Spain, renege on lots of treaties, frolicked with blonde frauleins at his summer house, invade Poland, killed loads of people, have one ball, be at war with generally everybody except the Italians and the Japanese and Russia, until he invaded Russia and then retreated from Russia, shot his missus, shot himself.

Below: Look at this aggressive fucker - this was just before he was not going to punch a little girl or a kitten or Felicity Kendall

Therefore the question must be asked...

 

WHAT THE FUCK HAS JAMES HOOK DONE?