Above: Nick Mullins 'Jonny Wikinsonson Jonny Wilkinson Jonny Wilkinson jonny JONNY JONNY JONNY ARRRGGGHHHHHHHH Bang.......................'No sooner had I extolled the presentation skills of ITV then Nick Mullins comes along and spoils everything. England had a good victory on the weekend but lets be honest it was only Romania. Mullins reacted as if he’d won first prize in the ‘get to finger Jessica Alba more than once’ competition. If England actually makes it to the final he will explode and Phil Vickery will be sat there covered in Mullins jizz and shit.
Back to the rugby jobs done for Wales, Ireland and England against lower tier sides. Job not fucking done for the Scots who went AWOL for a few minutes and in that time the Argentineans undid their zips, lobbed out their Jimmys and pissed over the Scots chips…..with battered mars bar. It was a shame but it has given the world cup a hell of a final weekend. There can’t have been a world cup like it – because some of the so called lower teams have put up a fight and there have been some weird results we go into the last weekend with things becoming interesting. Ireland has beaten Australia, the result of the tournament so far but they still have the Italians to go. Most people would say not a hope to the shit driving women botherers but isn’t that what they said to the Irish before becoming the wizards over Oz (geddit). Italy have silently gotten better as the tournament progresses and we all know they can really get going for one off games. They are not the favourites for this match but if they get going then Irish rickers will be twitching.
What about England – a shoe in, yes they played poor in patches but their momentum has been building. But now we have a desperate Scotland who have to win this to go through and we have Argentina waiting at the wings. England should do this but hey this is rugby and this is the world cup.
Wales, yes we were unlucky to lose to South Africa but we were lucky to beat Samoa. The possible outcomes are akin to the number of times Morgan has fallen asleep on dance floors throughout Christendom. Yes Fiji haven’t been on top form but they hardly set the world on fire 4 years ago where they tore us to shreds and knocked us out. Samoa haven’t played badly yet and lest we forget the victory against Australia a few months ago. If South Africa don’t do the business then….well I can hardly say it.
These are big fuck off games and we haven’t even started with the quarter finals yet
Let’s get it on
Back to the rugby jobs done for Wales, Ireland and England against lower tier sides. Job not fucking done for the Scots who went AWOL for a few minutes and in that time the Argentineans undid their zips, lobbed out their Jimmys and pissed over the Scots chips…..with battered mars bar. It was a shame but it has given the world cup a hell of a final weekend. There can’t have been a world cup like it – because some of the so called lower teams have put up a fight and there have been some weird results we go into the last weekend with things becoming interesting. Ireland has beaten Australia, the result of the tournament so far but they still have the Italians to go. Most people would say not a hope to the shit driving women botherers but isn’t that what they said to the Irish before becoming the wizards over Oz (geddit). Italy have silently gotten better as the tournament progresses and we all know they can really get going for one off games. They are not the favourites for this match but if they get going then Irish rickers will be twitching.
What about England – a shoe in, yes they played poor in patches but their momentum has been building. But now we have a desperate Scotland who have to win this to go through and we have Argentina waiting at the wings. England should do this but hey this is rugby and this is the world cup.
Wales, yes we were unlucky to lose to South Africa but we were lucky to beat Samoa. The possible outcomes are akin to the number of times Morgan has fallen asleep on dance floors throughout Christendom. Yes Fiji haven’t been on top form but they hardly set the world on fire 4 years ago where they tore us to shreds and knocked us out. Samoa haven’t played badly yet and lest we forget the victory against Australia a few months ago. If South Africa don’t do the business then….well I can hardly say it.
These are big fuck off games and we haven’t even started with the quarter finals yet
Let’s get it on
1 comment:
As you say, England should do it. But this is the World Cup and Scotland will somehow persuade the IRB to reschedule the match to Murrayfield like they did when they played France in the 2007 World Cup, which France hosted. They will then make the England players wait on the pitch for 20 minutes getting cold while a group of American actors, whose great great great great great aunt on their mother's side once kissed a Scotsman, re-enact the battle scenes from Braveheart, and the Scotland players stay in the changing room urinating on pictures of the Royal Family. At the same time as forgetting that Dan Parks, Jim Hamilton and fuck knows who else aren't even Scottish themselves. They will then come out, sing their racist little pop song, wink at the ref who will be from Australia with Scottish parents, and a Scottish wife, ask him if he got the cheque in the post, and then they will infringe at all the rucks, collapse all the scrums and mauls and the ref will penalise England and Scotland will win 9-0. Then, for some inexplicable reason, despite Argentina, England and Scotland all losing one of their group games each, Scotland's points tally being +18 and England's points tally being +99, Scotland and Argentina will qualify for the quarters. At which point I will be physically sick and then drive north to conduct some form of indiscriminate Whitehaven/Hungerford/Dunblane type massacre in the Scottish borders.
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