Thursday, August 17, 2006

A level result night

There are certain nights of the year that rugby lads go out with the certainty that they will get kissed and maybe have a fumble with the opposite sex.

Briefly they are

New Years eve
Edinburgh for Scotland v Wales
Cardiff for Wales v Ireland or Scotland when you are Irish or Scottish or pretend to be Irish or Scottish
A level result night

These aren’t concrete findings and there are other dates. e.g For people who live in Swansea or Newcastle upon Tyne, even if you went outside for a shit you would still be able to pull because most (not all!) of the birds there are scrubbers. If you know any others please contact the Coop.

A-level result night is a great night and planned with gusto by many in the Chicken Coop. It has been suggested to the Head Rooster that if they are not lucky tonight some of the younger Love Chickens will head out next week for GCSE results night.

The Head Rooster says no!!!

Next week any shenanigans could end up with you being held in jail for underage stuff or even worse it could end up with you spent sitting on some park bench with your new 16 year old ‘missus'. You will be sat there holding her hair and her dangly ear rings back whilst she is spuing her guts up after necking 2 litres of Frosty Jacks £1.99p premium white cider. She will be crying because her best mates Pomade and Babycham are not staying on at sixth form but are going to be doing NVQ ‘chewing and being ignorant’ in the local college and leaving her behind.

No listen to the Chief Rooster. Get your tour pulling pants on for a home run out and concentrate on tonight. Have your wicked way in the blissful knowledge that she will be gone to Uni in a few weeks time so you can remain single and remember by the time she returns after her first term she will be fat and you can ignore her.

Gentlemen – prepare the tour pants

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