We are a few months out from the World cup. We still have to go through the summer warm ups where we have the idiotic situation where teams who may meet in the latter stages of the world cup actually play each other or we have the 58 gamed twice daily yawn fest that is the tri nations. I am not going into my much anticipated xenophobic World cup guide for a while yet so for something different I thought I would look at the odds for the forthcoming piss up….i mean rugby tournament. Although we have our own bookie on the other side of the pond - i was forced to look online because ours couldnt be arsed to go to a lot of time and effort for Morgan to put 50p on Shane Williams to score against Yemen at odds of 1-25.
Above: Everytime Ski mentioned Formula 1 in a day the College of the Bahamas gained $1 - they were very pleased with the result
Well of course the favourites to win are the same ones that were favourites in 1987, 1991, 1995, 1999, 2003 and 2007 and who are going to be favourites in 2015, 2019 and 2024 before the yellow peril that is the Chinese having vanquished all that comes before them turn their interest to something they have never done before such as rugby, civil rights and climate change. Yes the odds on favourites that is New Zealand whose odds are so brilliant that if you bet your house on them and they won you would probably get your house back with a tenner. However as you all remember from all those dates after 1987 – the All Blacks choked and therefore could do it again.
Above: Mary and Samantha were in pieces after finding out how much they had raised after Ski's sponsored silence
So who else do we need to look at to win some spondulies, whose as soft as a flaccid penis after a solid 10 minutes sock abuse and whose as hard as that very sock a mere 24 hours later.
Well it seems the bookies go along with the rest of the worlds idea that the big southern hemisphere three will do well but odds are better for Australia with around 4-1. South Africa, the country made famous for being the baddies in Lethal weapon 2 and those stupid fucking horns that the kissball world loved in their world cup aren’t far behind them at around 6 or 7 to 1.
Argentina who surprised everybody last time out are surprisingly way down the pecking order (pecking – chickens – geddit – forget it) with odds ranging from 80-1 to 150-1 worse than all the six nations except Scotland and Italy.
Even though the English struggled/were tumfed by the Irish they are way favourites out of the northern hemisphere teams probably relating to some strength in depth and therefore competition for places. The bookies probably want to stay away from the French team who are not used to playing with each other as Lievremental has chosen the population of Marseilles to play for France over the past 4 years. Wheezing from the diets of gallois fags but boosted by the extreme fitness regimens of shrugging and burning things at ports the bookies don’t know which team will turn up but neither do the team or the French management. The English are around 10-1 which is worth a flutter and the French are at around 16-1 also worth forgoing a jar of pickled mussels and a pint of Babycham.
I have already mentioned incredible Hulk in waiting Andy Robinsons Scotland propping up the Celtic countries with odds of 150-200-1. Wales follows with a mere 40-60-1 I think they are the same odds as Andy Powell learning to sign his name with his favourite crayon. 40-1 is great considering half the team will be doing time for some almighty bank heist by then. Vanquishers of England with some style, Ireland are between 22 and 33-1 the bookies probably remembering that when it comes to world cups they are piss poor.
Below that it is pretty much the same sort of thing with Italy Samoa and Fiji being around 500-1000. Big news for all our American Lovechickens is that their odds are between 1000 and 2500 (these figures are odds not the amount of Mexicans who come through El Paso every hour). Countries like Russia, Georgia, Namibia and weirdly even Japan are down the 5000-1 mark. I don’t think I am being a twat when I say that 5000-1 for Russia to win the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand on their first time of asking, when a lot of their players are involved in the French second division or playing part time in Russia holding down their other jobs as drunks and hired thugs for English kissball team owning gazillionaires, is pretty shit – lets up their odds and see if Big Gav Henson cant find a Russian Nan somewhere, not that he knows where Russia is.
Above: Everytime Ski mentioned Formula 1 in a day the College of the Bahamas gained $1 - they were very pleased with the resultWell of course the favourites to win are the same ones that were favourites in 1987, 1991, 1995, 1999, 2003 and 2007 and who are going to be favourites in 2015, 2019 and 2024 before the yellow peril that is the Chinese having vanquished all that comes before them turn their interest to something they have never done before such as rugby, civil rights and climate change. Yes the odds on favourites that is New Zealand whose odds are so brilliant that if you bet your house on them and they won you would probably get your house back with a tenner. However as you all remember from all those dates after 1987 – the All Blacks choked and therefore could do it again.
Above: Mary and Samantha were in pieces after finding out how much they had raised after Ski's sponsored silenceSo who else do we need to look at to win some spondulies, whose as soft as a flaccid penis after a solid 10 minutes sock abuse and whose as hard as that very sock a mere 24 hours later.
Well it seems the bookies go along with the rest of the worlds idea that the big southern hemisphere three will do well but odds are better for Australia with around 4-1. South Africa, the country made famous for being the baddies in Lethal weapon 2 and those stupid fucking horns that the kissball world loved in their world cup aren’t far behind them at around 6 or 7 to 1.
Argentina who surprised everybody last time out are surprisingly way down the pecking order (pecking – chickens – geddit – forget it) with odds ranging from 80-1 to 150-1 worse than all the six nations except Scotland and Italy.
Even though the English struggled/were tumfed by the Irish they are way favourites out of the northern hemisphere teams probably relating to some strength in depth and therefore competition for places. The bookies probably want to stay away from the French team who are not used to playing with each other as Lievremental has chosen the population of Marseilles to play for France over the past 4 years. Wheezing from the diets of gallois fags but boosted by the extreme fitness regimens of shrugging and burning things at ports the bookies don’t know which team will turn up but neither do the team or the French management. The English are around 10-1 which is worth a flutter and the French are at around 16-1 also worth forgoing a jar of pickled mussels and a pint of Babycham.
I have already mentioned incredible Hulk in waiting Andy Robinsons Scotland propping up the Celtic countries with odds of 150-200-1. Wales follows with a mere 40-60-1 I think they are the same odds as Andy Powell learning to sign his name with his favourite crayon. 40-1 is great considering half the team will be doing time for some almighty bank heist by then. Vanquishers of England with some style, Ireland are between 22 and 33-1 the bookies probably remembering that when it comes to world cups they are piss poor.
Below that it is pretty much the same sort of thing with Italy Samoa and Fiji being around 500-1000. Big news for all our American Lovechickens is that their odds are between 1000 and 2500 (these figures are odds not the amount of Mexicans who come through El Paso every hour). Countries like Russia, Georgia, Namibia and weirdly even Japan are down the 5000-1 mark. I don’t think I am being a twat when I say that 5000-1 for Russia to win the Rugby World Cup in New Zealand on their first time of asking, when a lot of their players are involved in the French second division or playing part time in Russia holding down their other jobs as drunks and hired thugs for English kissball team owning gazillionaires, is pretty shit – lets up their odds and see if Big Gav Henson cant find a Russian Nan somewhere, not that he knows where Russia is.
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