Dear girls knickers,
With the autumn internationals almost upon us, most normal men with backbone and lives are thinking about rugby. Many of us will actually go to the pub and the conversations will be diverse. From the sitting/standing pooing debate (which some people cant be bothered to state their preference – twats) to how many top class rugby players have Cardiff made shit and not forgetting the eternal question of who would win a race out of superman and the Flash. One of my favourites however is the who would I have in my all time 15. So I thought I would put a Welsh XV and an international XV to play against down to see if anyone can be arsed to agree or disagree.
While I would love to put down JPR, Gareth, and Dai Duckham they were a little beforemy time (mitch - from Fishguard you can put these down!!) so I have kept my selection to players I have seen from my childhood till now. Obviously Spenny and Ski etc will pick an English team, Connair and Sex pest to pick an Irish one, Will to pick a Japanese one and as soon as we know where the fuck Fuzz is from, we can get his.
Today I pick my full backs. I must say that I put 2 names down almost immediately and no matter how many great players I added to the list, come the end I couldn’t bring myself to change them.
It depends what sort of full back you want. Old dependables like Gavin Hastings who while I consider boring as fuck, was a solid influence on a Scottish team. For my Welsh side the equivalent was Paul Thorburn. On one occasion he ran into the line and Bill Maclaren said
“…and Thorburn was going like a train” yes he was, a Sprinter train from Milford Haven to Carmarthen, I saw more movement from Roberts in 2003 and he didn’t move a lot.
So for the Welsh I had 3 choices, one is actually a current player but people forget that he has been around for nearly 10 years and if not for injury would have been a Lion in 1997, 2001 and 2005. He should make the Welsh side this autumn because without a doubt he is the best full back around. Its Kevin Morgan, everything I want in a full back but he just missed out to my choice. My other option who just missed out was the Swansea player Anthony Clement, although he played fly half, he was the full back during the 1988 triple crown season and made 2 Lions tours. He was great but most of all I loved his jink and his forest animals instinct to know where to go. In the end I picked someone who played for Wales but found out he was not actually eligible. This was after showing a commitment and a passion to my great country that was sadly lacking in many who have put on the jersey with the three feathers. His name is Shane Howarth, a true professional and a double hard bastard. Great runner, great passer, invincible under the high ball and people forget that he also scored a try against England in THAT match in 1999.
So lets look at the alternatives for my international team, Percy Montgomery, Jean-Babtiste Lafond and Christian Cullen are up there. Lafond was not as well known but I loved his confidence. Montgomery was great, a true competitor and oozed class especially when he came to Newport and then there was Cullen, while he still looked dangerous when playing for Munster, he was a shadow of his former self. When he played for the All Blacks he was truly awe inspiring, he ran great angles and was great under the high ball. So I got down to my final 2 and was gutted I had to leave the next player out, however I would put him in my squad. He really is fast as fuck and every time he got the ball against Wales I would truly shit myself, he is still a great player but luckily for us Andy Robinson the English coach wouldn’t know a good thing if he bought a good thing box from a good thing shop, opened it up and found a good thing staring back.
I am wandering somewhat so I will reveal my favourite full back. For my world XV I wanted my kind of player and this will make more sense as I name more of my team. I didn’t want a team full of good players I wanted a good team, bois that would set the rugby world alight and then burn down the bar afterwards as well. Jason Robinson doesn’t drink so I don’t understand him, I just find it very hard to trust people who don’t drink, I also don’t think he is that good under a high ball so that is why I am going for the chain smoking, wine drinking nasty bastard from France, Serge Blanco. It was his vision that set off that amazing try against the English in 1991 (I think), he was the one who scored that brilliant try against the Ozzies to reach the finals of the first world cup in 1987. He also was a dirty sod that knocked fuck out of the English winger during the 91 world cup. I am not sure he ever lost to Wales, we were so pants at the time we almost made him look godlike. He had everything and therefore is in my XV.
i look forward to hearing your views and your choices, however Neil and Ches should remember that they cant include themselves in their choice and i will shoot the first person that names Derwyn Jones as a full back
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