Above: USA! USA! slightly retarded American hero shows his colours and acting talentsForget England v Scotland, forget Australia v Ireland and forget South Africa v Wales this game is the one the world is waiting for – a grudge match from 1918. This is revenge for Apollo Creed, this is payback for the Bay of Pigs, This is Reagan v Gorbachev, capitalist v communist, this is Belushi v Schwarzenegger in red heat this is
USA v Russia
I know we are a long way away from American paranoia and reds under the bed and Russians queuing up for 5 years so they could get the wrapping of a Big Mac in exchange for their daughters Natasha and Nikita, but growing up in the 70s and 80s – this was the big one. It’s strange to think that it wasn’t until super actor Ronnie Reagan stared the commies down and called their bluff that everybody thought that the yanks were the underdogs in the cold war – everyone was shitting themselves as the Russians threw themselves into competing in the space race, the arms race and most sports of the world….er…race, little did we realise that they were all a bunch of malnourished, poor, huge piss heads and they were winning the space race by sending their cosmonauts up to space by giant elastic band.
USA v Russia
I know we are a long way away from American paranoia and reds under the bed and Russians queuing up for 5 years so they could get the wrapping of a Big Mac in exchange for their daughters Natasha and Nikita, but growing up in the 70s and 80s – this was the big one. It’s strange to think that it wasn’t until super actor Ronnie Reagan stared the commies down and called their bluff that everybody thought that the yanks were the underdogs in the cold war – everyone was shitting themselves as the Russians threw themselves into competing in the space race, the arms race and most sports of the world….er…race, little did we realise that they were all a bunch of malnourished, poor, huge piss heads and they were winning the space race by sending their cosmonauts up to space by giant elastic band.
Above: Pissed on shit vodka and tired from shagging his sister, cosmonaut Boris prepares for blast offUS paranoia obviously has moved on from those damned russkies and onto the threat of a free health care system which obviously is much scarier. They also don’t like the Muslims and so it seems neither do we which seems ironic because we love to arm them for lots of their money, train their troops so they can kill us better and invest lots of money draining their resources. In 400 years time when we have bled them dry – we will be back in charge so ha! Its also funny that even in the late 80s the US believed the Soviets to be so advanced that in the reality TV documentary ‘Rocky IV’ the fighter from the richest country, Rocky, was training in a shack and running through the snow in a sack while the bankrupt soviet fighter named Ivan (quelle surprise) was in a more high tech gym then there are available even now, 25 years later.
Enough of that though – this is it – American eagle v Russian Bear. Even though the Russians are going to be coached by Wales’ Kingsley Jones and he is indeed in a Graham Henry styley searching every rugby club in both hemispheres for anybody with a blonde flat top called Ivan (quelle surprise), its got to be a class win for the yanks. There game is improving, in the next 20 years things will change – they are starting to appreciate 7s (even though 7s is the draughts of chess) and with their resources, increased rugby scholarships and some of the best athletes in the world they will start making a difference. 
Above: 'Not all Americans are fat' states Brad Kentuckyderby IV after winning USA's slimmer of the year
It wont be long before they change all the rules, call it a different game which foreigners don’t understand and then call it the world series.
Above: 'Not all Americans are fat' states Brad Kentuckyderby IV after winning USA's slimmer of the yearIt wont be long before they change all the rules, call it a different game which foreigners don’t understand and then call it the world series.
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