News from the training paddock

Good news on the squad (all 500 of them…), I have been informed that Big Jim and Carlton the Kaahnt are definates for Saturday. Bad news is that the cockney bastard has to leave through the day and the giant Turk will be coming straight off crime fighting and will be too knackered to play. I am not good at convincing people but I know that Kitey has an innate talent in mithering people to do what he wants – ask his missus and mam for proof. (I have witnessed the phenomenon at first hand its as amazing as watching Fuzz on the first night of tour….).

JJB sports has seen an increase in sales since the announcement of the Lovechickens game against the tax dodgers. Morg has told Dai fingers to get him a scrum cap, if the Morgatron is spending money then you know he is taking it seriously.

Todays short interview is with Coffin dodger Andy Nunn who will be the Lovechickens oldest player on Saturday.

Rooster: welcome to LC news Nunny, after narrowly missing out on playing at the Bath Spa sevens for the Chickens how does it feel to be finally getting the call

Nunny: Eh? Who are you?

Rooster: I am from LC news

Nunny: I don’t want any!

Rooster: No I have come to interview you

Nunny: But I don’t want a bath, I want to watch diagnosis murder

Rooster: Do you know that you are playing for the Lovechickens?

Nunny: I love beef more than chicken tell the nurses

Rooster: Sigh…thanks for your time Andy Nunn

Nunny: I’ve made another wet mistake in my pants, will you help me

Rooster: no


More news

As many of you know for the first 10 minutes of the match against the great unwashed we will be fielding some of the old boys (that’s in age not in a uni sense), many of who will be playing in their last matches ever. The average age of our backs will be 33, I don’t think the rest of the first half squad is that much younger. What I would love to know is how much older the combined age of the Uni team is compared to the combined age of Nunny and Mitch.


First rule of Saturday is that the LC’s will be required to where novelty or shit underwear. For many of us Fishguard Lovechickens the words ‘shit’ and ‘underwear’ conjures up memories of Thug Roberts and Morgatron Hart who broke the world record for forgetting their kit for their entire school lives. Memories of passing 2 cross country runners with towellette orange Y-fronts with turquoise Y’s will stay with us forever……..

Fact of the day
A Lovechicken has won the weakest link.