Some of the competition on the pitch will be lightning hot (except for those first 10 minutes of course) but it’s off the pitch where the interest could be most intense.
Eyebrows
While it must be extremely hard carrying the equivalent of the Forest of Dean on your face, these two do it with style. Let me introduce Pete ‘The Meat’ Farrell and Alex ‘The Sod from Llandod’ Williams. The competition begins at one o clock where they will see how long they can balance Ski and Big Dave on their eyebrows.
Trivia: A Lovechicken once convinced his missus that they were called ‘eyebrowns’.
Willies
A bit of a four way competition. All four competitors have King dongs about the size of Baby Ben and the Rooster is very proud to know that all four are Welshmen, two from the north and two from the south. The cocks of the North are Champers ‘the python’ Thomas and the previously mentioned Pete ‘the meat’ Farrell. The contenders from the south are Richard ‘DICK’ Lloyd and London Welsh ‘ding dong’ Bell. About 8 years ago it would have been a done deal with LW the leader by a yard, literally a yard. Now after years of over use and trips to the clap clinic it has shrunk down to being just huge………..
Other news
Don’t tell Fat Mike but the only way we could get him to come on Saturday was to pretend that we were all going to watch a division 3 east match between Treherbert and Fleur de Lys.
Odds
Speaking of Fat Mike, the latest odds have come into the Chicken Coop about who is going home first on Saturday.
10-1 Morg – odds will be cut if he is on curfew but will grow if he does his favourite move of taking a 5 hour snooze mid sesh
10-1 Balsom - Last seen out wearing a T-shirt with ‘RELAX’ on. His lack of form may lead to his downfall. On the first pub golf was named Bertie Six-Thirty after the time of his departure
9-1 Nunny – all depends if the nursing staff at his home lets him out late
5-1 Fat Mike - Some great form recently but may revert to form. Doesn’t say a word just leaves you in the lurch.
4-1 Neil - lucky if he will turn up but if he starts on the chardonnay he will end up crying In a toilet and be home by seven. Just like in Scotland
2-1 Tew – the favourite for Saturday. Like Balsom, hasn’t been out for years (last seen out with stonewashed skin tight jeans, a white T-shirt and a suit jacket with the sleeves rolled up ala Chris Parry). His going home early antics are at an international level. Nothing can stop him, in Swansea, he once needed to get home so badly he paid a taxi £70 to take him to Ponty.
And on other side of the coin
1000-1 Champers – will only show clues of being slightly merry after 12 hours of heavy drinking – git
1200-1 Kitey – he will get home when Ferg tells him – see also Pete Farrell
1500-1 Fuzz - auto-pilot on this mentalist will ensure a late return no matter what the mess he is in
2500-1 London Welsh – he won’t get home
Got a few spies in the enemy camp last night – don’t know how the play but know for a fact that the fuckers cant sing
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