Away from the Lions for one moment...

Above: Roger Lewis - 'DECIMATE-O REGIONALIS!'

 

The WRU treat the regions like a school boy who is good at every subject except chemistry treats chemistry. The kid is shit at it so he doesn’t bother trying to get any better, making it worse until he fails, he tells everybody in the chemistry department that he really is going to get on with sorting it out but doesn’t Why should he? he is doing well on every subject and everybody is patting him on the back congratulating him on it……..i think I nearly lost even myself then.

 

Roger Lewis (How you would imagine Harry Potter would look like when he’d grown up) doesn’t like to talk about the regions although saying that, the more he does talk, the more he sounds like a demented, less sincere form of Tony Blair, the less I want him to talk about anything. Both he and David Pickering seem only to care about paying off the mortgage on the Millennium Stadium, which in a way is great but by the time he has done it, Welsh rugby in Wales will be dead and the only time we will get to fill it will be when 1 direction come out of retirement and the 50 year olds sing their greatest hit to gushing post menopausal valleys women. All our players will be playing in France or England, we will be like the Fiji of the Northern Hemisphere without sunshine, decent beaches and military coups.

 

below: Roger to Dai Pickering 'haha and ive got shares in Quantas....'



 



The reason I mention the regions? – well it was the draw for the European cups yesterday and unless our regions were drawn with each other, Edinburgh and some Italians then all calculations would have seen all of our teams in a ‘Group of Death’. Exeter I hear you shout? Include them in that list if you want but they did beat the Scarlets home and away in the last competition. The thing is the cup is getting harder and harder and it is leaving us behind – sometime there are chinks of light but they are over 1 game and not over a period of time. It doesn’t help that those mony grabbing twats try and hinder the regions as often as possible – their latest is to organise the next part of the twice fortnightly game against the Australians a week before European cup matches…stupid stupid selfish twats.

To be honest if I was a Welsh region I wouldn’t have minded being in that Zebre Connaught group but hey ho we were probably the same seeds as at least one of them. Cardiff have got a better group while the O’s….well fargin hell..Scarlets will have to hope that the French teams are having a shit time in the Top 14 and send over their seconds or they are in the shit as well. Even the Dragons have Bath in the Amlin although if you want a team who will be shitting it – it will be the Madrid team that play away against Stade Francais…

Have I got any quick fix solutions for our ails – of course not – if I did – I wouldn’t be sat in a darkened room with pornfinder on my screen and a packet of burger bites from spar and a sock for company. I would be rich beyond my wildest dreams, on my yacht off the coast of Port Talbot, drinking champagne flutes of Rev. James bitter, surrounded by models that looked like June Whitfield when she was younger and the blonde bird from Transvision vamp. Chris Ashton would be my butler, dressed as a baby and would answer to my call of ‘here twat’………..

above: 'here twat, swallow dive yourself over to the fridge and get me and Wendy James here, a 'fab' and a Strawberry miffy'