Starting off my tour by the Viking war leader - King of the Hawkmen!!

Not content with just sending Lovechickens to Australia to live and build their lives just in order to have sleeper agents ready for the Lions Tour, we are sparing no expense (because we are not paying) in sending one of our American Lovechickens (and with it our heaviest, hairiest and worst behaved) over there as well - reports to follow but here is one we received this morning!!

Above: Big Doug and long suffering wife prepare to do battle....

Dateline: June 5th 2013

Location: Delta SKY Club, Los Angeles Airport

Time: 1930 local

Am sipping my 5th drink after spending 5.5 hours drinking from Atlanta to Los Angeles. In 3 hours I will be westward bound for Oz (and 14 more hours of drinking – I am woefully out of shape) and after a short connecting flight and numerous more libations, I will once again be in Brisbane in the land of Oz, where men are manly and the sheep are scared, currently being overrun by the Barmy Army (sort of like a modern Mongol hoard).  But no worries lads, I have Hawkmen in reserve if the going gets tough!

A small worry, I forgot my Viking war Leader hat – will have to procure one for the tour – Spence will know where the local Viking shop is I am sure ( I procured it during an invasion of New Orleans many years ago). Without it I may be taken for just another aging desperado, looking for a soft place to fall.

I am eagerly anticipating seeing Spence for happy hour Friday at the Pig and Whistle , storming the gates of the Castlemaine Brewery Saturday afternoon prior to once again braving the crowds and invading the pubs on Caxton street prior to the match. Hoping the Reds give them a good match – I think they will, but I doubt the result is going to be much of a mystery.

If you don’t hear from me again before Tuesdays match, As Warren Zevon sang so eloquently many years ago “send lawyers guns and money, the shit has hit the fan”.

Above: THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN SPEAKING!!!

Big Doug, Viking War Leader, LC #49

view from the other side of the World - Spenny

So that's job done in Perth.  Well done lads, go and have a beer.  Enjoy it.

But when you're a collection of some of the best players in the Northern Hemisphere, you really should be tupping a scraped-together side of inexperienced club players.  Saturday's game against the Reds, however, will be a different prospect altogether.

Even if they don't risk all of their first team, the Reds squad has huge depth, and what they've shown throughout this Super Rugby competition is that they can win games purely by tackling their opponents into submission.  Team selection permitting, the Lions can expect some very big hits from the pack in the shape of Saia Faingaa, Beau Robinson, Jake Schatz, Eddie Quirk and big Radike Samo.  Saia's been my player of the season so far and has more than earned his spot in the Wallabies squad.  Beau reminds me of Neil Back, while Eddie Quirk is evocative of the heady days of Mick "The Munch" Skinner.  The back line's no slouch either, with monsters like Anthony Faingaa and Ben Tapu'ai who've been smashing people all season.

Don't get me wrong, I think the Lions should win it - especially if the Reds rest some of their big names - but I also predict that this will be their first real test.  Albeit with a lower case 't'.

Parochial? us? not on your Nelly - here's Spenny, one of our intrepid Lovechickens on the ground...

The time has flown since I first started planning for this Lions tour last year, and now it's happening. This week. To say I'm excited is an understatement. In less than five days Big Doug and his raiding party will be the first people from my former life to visit me in this great land, and we'll be sharing a beer like old times.

Above: Queensland Red Gill and HA! a vest...what a flaming Galah!!

Despite being lucky enough to tour Australia with the Love Chickens elite in 2003, I missed out on experiencing the famous "Sea of Red" in 2001. So the thought that I'll be a droplet in the 2013 Sea of Red, not once but twice, is damn near making me soil myself. My only problem is, and this goes for many people in Brisbane, the great Club versus Country dilemma.

Yes I, like dozens of ex-pats who live here, am a Queensland Reds season ticket holder. I bloody love the Reds. I go to all the home games, I wear the replica shirt, I have the car sticker, the signed team poster at my desk, I've even handed my bemused infant son over to several of them to have his photo taken. So I've thought, how do I show support for the team that I'm fanatic about this coming Saturday, when they face the mighty British and Irish Lions? Do I wear my Lions shirt, and my Reds member's baseball cap? Or scarf?

Do I fuck. I'm British. I'm a rugby fan. And this weekend I'll be supporting the British and Irish Lions. I can support the Reds for the next 11 years until the Lions come back again.

But don't forget Lions fans - the Reds have seven players named in the Wallabies squad; Faingaa, Gill, Genia, Horwill, Simmons, Slipper and Ioane, (second only to the Waratahs with ten). All but Ioane are likely to turn out for the Reds on Saturday. And then of course there's big Radike Samo, and a certain man called Quade, who might also have something to prove to Robbie Deans. So don't expect a Barbarians-style walkover. This, and the following week's game against the 'Tahs, will be the dress rehearsals for the real thing so the Lions need to be on their mettle.

Tell me you're not excited too.