Above: Richard Hibbard is the centre of attention during the 'night before the second test' party
The further the time from the event the greater the distance
from the actual facts. A simple story about being crazy on a dance floor in
Prague becomes the time half the boys snorted 12 grammes of class A drugs from
a hookers chuff. A funny fall in a pub becomes a western styled brawl while a
fall over the line in a close game becomes a length of the field jinking mega
try. Dalliances with crocyhippofrogs become nights of passion with wanton luscious
uber babes. The Lions tours are full of
stories but rather than being full of hyperbole you want to think that there is
a lot of truth to the stories.
Why I am going down this track? I wonder that due to the
professional rugby player and the regimentation of their lives and the
countries ways of playing coupled with 24 hour rolling news and social media
that those stories may be at an end. I am sure if Mikey Phillips had been
duffed up by some bouncers on a tour in the 70s it would be in a funny story book
30 years later instead he was hauled over the coals by everybody and their dogs
– remember fat baby Tuilagi and his jump from a ship? It was nice to see that
Danny Cipriani was so pissed he was run over by a bus recently but how many
stories like that are going to come out of the Lions tours?
The way these guys are it probably won’t be more than this:
Hi George North here – I remember a great story from the
Lions tour of 2013, thirty years ago. Me, Owen Farrell and Leigh Halfpenny were
really restless so we decided to flaunt the rules and let rip so we all went to
Nandos and The Owen (that was our nickname for him because his name was Owen) ordered
chicken in a pitta and he used hot peri peri sauce AND garlic Peri Peri
sauce…….TWO SAUCES!!! Then we started laughing because a girl was looking at
us.
Hi Dylan Hartley here – no one was speaking to me because I
am a big cunt so I decided to go back to my room and phone Chris Ashton and
tell him how hard everything is. When I got into the room it was like world war
fucking 3. Richie Gray who I was rooming with had invited Adam Jones, Richard
Hibbard and Geoff Parling to watch Freaky Friday and do their hair – there was
styling wax and hair straighteners all over the place! Those guys……….
One night after playing the Queensland Reds Me (Alun Wyn
Jones) and Sean o Brien got into a pillow fight and then Neil Jenkins came in
and shouted at us and he said ‘bloody’. I thought it was funny but Sean was
really upset and pissed the bed.
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