a tale of Fly Halves

Above: Leivremental looks over to the French bench to see who could come on for the 5th best fly half on the team

Did I say the Kiwis by 15? Sorry what I meant was that there would be 15 points scored and hey presto I was correct. What a final and what a performance by the 30 players on the pitch and the 23 fly halves that were carried off in scenes reminiscent of a Tanrantino film rather than the best sport on this earth. Well the French certainly came to spoil the party and was very close to do so – Harinordoquy was my man of the match – he was all over the field. Trinh-Duc was also superb when he came on, his glide through the All black defence was like Fuzzy Williams through a lasagne. They could’ve won it and my deep rooted sense of supporting the under dog almost wished they would have – almost but in the end I couldn’t do it. This was more than a rugby victory, it was a victory for a proud rugby loving, slip on shoes wearing, mullet growing, whitesnake loving, 80s loving nation. They deserved it and they have to be proud of this bunch of players and the coaching team. As a Welshman I felt very emotional when I saw Graham Henry being interviewed – he started our revolution and I will always thank him for that and he got what he deserved. They say that he shed a tear when Wales beat England in Wembleyin 1999 – if that’s the case he must have shit his pants through crying yesterday. McCaw was immense but I thought 93 year old Stephen Donald who came on and settled things down. This was a great final and the best team in the final won it – I look forward to the next time they win it in 2035.

The futures Black

Above: To many this is a symbol of a Kiwi riding a whale to lots of Lovechickens, Kiwis is a symbol of riding Whales

Well touché All Blacks – last week the only thing that choked on that pitch was Quade Cooper. The Kiwis looked like they should do – world beaters and that’s what they should be crowned on Sunday – all they have is the French infront of them. Look I keep on about this French team having one game in them well to be honest I hope they don’t – I don’t want a team that really didn’t play great rugby to make it there. Its not about great rugby in the knock out stages its about winning I hear you say – correct but did they play good rugby in the pool stages? – no they didn’t. People are on England’s case for shit behaviour well look over at the stropping petulant French and see how they have behaved. however I don’t really care about the fuss of having lost 2 of their pool games stopping a team getting to the final – that’s what the Rugby world should be heading for – when everybody in the pool has a chance of going through. I wont mention this mornings game but what it was was a big dose of reality for us in Wales – that doesn’t mean that we still aren’t a great side but shows we have a long way to go to keep being consistent.
Above: 'The heat is on' Richie Mccaw calls his mother on the newest phone in all new Zealand to say his foots better
So this Sunday I will be supporting the All Blacks because they deserve it, they may be very nervous which may let in France remembering that this is the Final and anything could happen but if form stays true I would put the kiwis by 15 but hey what the hell do I know.
Above: Richard Kahui and Ma Nonu get dressed up for a night in Auckland after their semi final win last Sunday
You may be a small country stuck in the 1980s but go All Blacks!!

Big Dougs opinion - musings of a giant yank

Above: Big Doug - In America Ho Ho HO means three prostitutes

Overview of the RWC
1. Terrific atmosphere, and no better place for the RWC than NZ as far as atmosphere is concerned– a country consumed by the AB’s. The people are friendly, always interested in if you are enjoying your stay (I got asked at least 100 times), and are all, every man woman and child, rugby gurus. If there is any downside, the scramble due to the loss of the stadium in Christchurch made for some hard traveling for some of us, but overall, every match in every pub played and replayed all day all night, the pubs were hopping, and every Kiwi supporter welcomed and applauded every supporter from every nation. Most matches were sold out, and there was great local support. The entire country had AB flags flying, and AB support demonstrated in many different was - Great stuff.
2. The USA did OK, and in some phases of the game, we actually played decently. The highlight for me though, was sitting in the stands in Wellington for the Australia match, and about 30 minutes in, as we ran with the ball in our own end, and kicked the ball away in the Wallaby half of the field, and right after our scrum half kicked away hard won turn over ball at the Wallaby 10 meter line, the Kiwi sitting next to me, asks me” Are you a Yank”, I replied “yes”, he asked “Do you boys have a coach?” … enough said. We played with heart and there is something to be said for that, but we simply do not have the skill or speed to compete at the top level. Skip and I both agreed though that we have no idea why we can’t do better scrummaging and in the line outs – both are areas where coaching should allow us to compete fairly evenly one would think. It was easy to see how speed killed us in Australia’s backs – they moved the ball so quickly that we simply were out paced frequently – they had no problem getting outside our defense on a straight back line movement from a set piece, no dummy runners, no skip passes, just fundamental back line play – move it quickly and accurately – and a try was frequently the result. I was proud of our efforts, and I think Clever is a world class talent (or close to it), but by and large, as we have discussed many times, the major rugby playing nations of the world can rest easy since the best athletes out our population of 330 million can get rich playing 4 other sports (and soccer is getting close now) and culturally, this will never appeal to the masses, just to the crazed exceptions like Skip and I. Regardless, are we a developing each RWC into a better side? I think so, what else can I ask for but to play hard, never quit and leave it all on the pitch? If you do that you can carry your head high.
3. The most enjoyable team I have watched is a tough one…but if you mean in person, and I assume you do, I saw the following teams in action live; Romania, Argentina, Scotland, Georgia, USA, Italy, Russia, England, Australia and New Zealand. We saw multiple combinations of these teams playing (Like England vs. Georgia, and Argentina, Argentina vs. Romania and Scotland and then NZ in the ¼’s etc.). The most fun team to watch for me was Argentina – two reasons, they played defense ferociously and tackled like demons – and their fans were absolutely terrific in the stands – the chanted constantly, had numerous songs and chants, and were rarely quiet – and talked about dedicated – they dressed for the match like it was Wellington Sevens (saw one guy with a Kiwi taped to his head, another with a female mannequin tied onto his shoulders) – and they were like all rugby players everywhere, terrific fun in the pub afterwards.
4. I’m not sure there was a shit team to watch, there were some shit matches, but even then, if you were in the stands, the atmosphere was still terrific – we were in the stands for two Aussie blowouts, USA and Russia (Wellington and Nelson) and both were fun to be in the stands for – and the pubs in Wellington after the USA-Wallaby match were just insane – great time.
5. The most enjoyable match for me was the Scotland – Argentina match – in the rain in Wellington (lots of that rain in NZ). Scotland was held in check by the Puma defense all night, and the Scots were in command due to penalty kicks, and then suddenly a reserve wing for the Pumas comes in, gets a ball wide on the wing, goes 1 on 4 (it was never on mate, not even close), and makes some great individual moves and all of a sudden the Pumas snatch a victory. I also really loved being in the stands for the ¼ final between the Pumas and the AB’s. I was sure the kiwi fans were under rating the Pumas defense, and I told all of those around me the same thing – but I also said the AB’s would wear them down. Really good atmosphere in the park (not as good as watching Wales in Millennium or the old Arms Park but close) and a good solid match.
6. As you know, NZ is a beautiful country, and we went all over it. From Auckland to Invercargill, with stops in Dunedin, Christchurch, Nelson, Kaikoura, Picton and Wellington (and who knows how many scenic vistas, lunch stops, emergency pub stops etc.). We saw some incredible sights, enjoyed a great drive thru the Alps as well as helicopter ride over them, watched Samoa – S. Africa in The Flying Haggis Pub in Picton (one of the best matches in the tournament), watched Skip play in an old boys match in Auckland (and he was the youngster on the side), traded jumpers in a clubhouse at the drink up and songfest later, just Skip and I and the youngsters from the Carleton Grammar Club, met Sir Wilson Whineray, All Black from 1957-68 and Capitan for 6 of those years (he attended the Harvard Business School after retiring from international rugby in 1968), met and chatted with Nick Mallet and Justin Marshall, introduced myself to Robbie Deans and Quade Cooper, saw numerous players demonstrate patience and kindness with their young fans – especially the wallabies, saw great rugby and mediocre rugby in great surroundings, stayed in God knows how many hotels and B&B’s, only had one accident driving on the left (but in Dev’s honor I terrorized Bruce when I drove), made lots of new friends, and drank untold quantities of beer. For comparison purposes, I’d say it was an extended Love Chicken Scottish trip…on steroids.

AB’s over France in the final – especially if they play with the intensity they did against the Aussies.

World cup reports

so over the next few weeks we at Lovechickens RFC will be asking for postings asking your opinion on the World cup - if i ask you its because you can type more than 'it was really good' - make an effort and be involved except you Chris Ashton and you Alain Rolland - you can go swivel

what? theres another game on tomorrow?

Above: refereeing todays winner takes all match between England and Scotland is Frenchman Fraser 'Wild Willy' McDonald - he's from Marseille but his mams from Hawick

Ok I’m feeling a little better now although I am still not too happy about the Wales France game being refereed by Irishman of French parents Alain Rolland. When we play the French in the 6 nations after the French beat the English in the previous round, I want the referee to be Englishman of Welsh parents, Dewi Owain Glyndwr Gwasanaethau Wrexham Cheese and Chips Severn Bridge Evans Jones and let’s see how things roll on that one.
Just want to quickly blog on tomorrows game – well not so much the game but how freaked out the kiwis seem to be about it. Everybody I talk to say that the New Zealanders are absolutely shitting themselves about choking and listening to Conrad Smith in a press conference confirmed that. There was no quiet confidence just a plain honesty about being worried – I don’t think I can ever remember a New Zealand team so rattled.

Above: Pressing this button has been a Kiwi tradition since 1991 - will they avoid it this time?

Maybe this way of thinking may actually help them but I bet it doesn’t fill their supporters with joy. Many people are tipping the Ozzies to do it and the last time they met they did. It’s also going to be fun watching New Zealand arch nemesis Quade Cooper and how he plays tomorrow – in a recent poll he was voted most hated person in New Zealand ahead of the French blokes who blew up the greenpeace boat. The thing with Cooper is I don’t think he gives a flying fuck what they think and will do anything to wind up the Kiwis – expect a lot of them coming off the pitch at half time with cocks drawn in chalk on their backs or kick me signs. A semi final against your biggest rivals should be enough to get you going but knowing that if you win your going into a final against a team like the French would be a god send.

I now love Chris Ashton and I hate Alain Rolland……….and sand and queues.

sob.....excuse this....sob...excuse for a...weep...blog.....

Above: Todays game made me cry more than the last time i watched this and that was a lot

We could talk about Referees decisions, a red card when it should be yellow, hitting the word work, not once but twice and playing for an hour with 14 men but in the end it came down to not scoring when we should, not taking the right decision when we had the chance and France taking all chances at points on getting them on the board. In the end, the record books will show that Wales lost in a semi final against France in 2011 by 8 points to 9. There will be no mention of the positive fever that gripped a nation for weeks, bolstering its supporters with hope and togetherness, no mention of a world cup turned on its head by a rugby nation of 3 million fervent souls, wishing, preying and populating every spare pub, rugby club, sofa and roofed national stadium in the country and above all it will not mention a team on the other side of the world that played heads up attacking thrilling rugby coupled with heart bursting defence and belief that gave its all and more for the world of rugby. They showed pride, a dark, deep down in the pits of the stomach pride in the jersey they wore and the country and its people who they represented and did it every time they took to the pitch.

Over the top, yes I am but I, like many of us, have invested so much time, money and heart into following Welsh rugby teams and sometimes that investment has delivered little in return. Yes there were good times, some rip roaring but a lot of the time we lost because in the end because we weren’t up to it, many times it was because we made silly mistakes and other times it was a mismatch in talent, fitness and heart from the beginning – all hurt, if like me you cared that much, then it brought tears and that hurt was a hurt in the core of your very being but while I have that feeling now, its there with a bit of sobbing anger at the way we have been knocked out, that if we had been beaten in a game of 80 minutes, 15 men against 15 men and France would have won by beating us then I could have just cried, looked inside myself and known that its rugby and that sometimes that’s just the way it goes. No, as I have just said my body aches and shakes with bitterness about the story board of this defeat and so will the players and especially so young Sam Warburton. A player who everybody talked about, not just for being a warm, sensible, inspiring, mature Captain or for looking a bit like Christopher eccleston but for being a number 7 so good that Kiwis stopped talking about their number 7 for a bit to focus on this 23 year old – a player recognised even by opposition players and supporters as a hard working clean player who has been judged harshly in the biggest game of his life. I just hope he knows that the history books will remember a sending off while the people that care, the people of Wales and the world rugby fraternity will remember him not only for his time, leadership and talent at this world cup but for seasons and seasons to come.

This team have played with verve and passion and took us along on a special journey, they deserve the plaudits but also deserved to go further. I hope they know how proud we are of them and at this moment, while tearful, shaken and pouting like a twat I feel in some way that all that investment has been worth it.

written yesterday - too emotional to put it up - what a twat!

Other than being the handsomest man in the Lovechickens or scoring the fastest try in Welsh Assembly rugby history or being a much better putter than Richie Morris or a better player of paper scissors stone than Pete two Fannies I am not one for showing off or gloating but I will allow myself a bit of joy at the defeating of Ireland this morning. It was a game, a ball busting, full throttle, jiz my pants game. I thought every Ireland player possibly with the exception of Cian Healy played well, not well – very well but I thought that the Welsh display was gutsy – it wasn’t perfect- far from it but it did the job and everybody here can be justifiably proud and excited by next week. Everybody who was expected to deliver did so, so with that it in mind I have to single out Huw Bennett who is not always included on the fantasy team sheet for Welsh fans who today exceeded expectations, played through the pain barrier and delivered. It was nice to see Phillips back to his pomp and Captain Amazing just gets better and better. I thought Ireland were all over us for long stretches of the game but I could not understand why they brought off the half backs – thankfully we weren’t haunted by the spectre of too many replacements. A worry now must be the injuries to Charteris and Jamie Roberts, both played above and beyond. Anybody who doesn’t like this case of waxing lyrical to the max can sod off because loyal readers know that this doesn’t happen often and the last time I saw Wales in a semi final I had to go school half an hour later to be bullied by Pete two fannies (he pulled my fingers back and made me cry 2 years before – and now we are friends although I am waiting till he’s an ancient 81 and I am a sprightly 80 before I really sort the shit out and gain my revenge).

Loyal readers will also know that I rarely take the piss out of the English team with regards to their playing because I am an admirer but even the most one eyed England supporter would have thought that the team were a sack of shit this morning. Some performances but I wouldn’t even raise that to good. What the fuck was wrong with them – they could not even blame the ref who missed 2 English knock ons in 2 minutes. It wasn’t all johnnos fault but his after game interview was a disgrace and where was the mention of the great support they received – it was a me me me performance although I think true England supporters should be happy with the result because if they had got to the semi finals with their performances nobody would have thought that anything was wrong except the English supporters and the rest of the rugby world outside the RFU – they have the players and they have the support so lets see where they go from here. So it is Wales France semi final and I cannot wait – I am hoping that leivremental pulls another beauty out of his sack and decides to play Medard at prop and rene from Allo Allo at centre.

childish - fuck yeah!!

Paul O connell, Patrick keilty, Eamon holmes, the bloke who played magneto in the last xmen film, Jim Mcdonald from Corrie, Frankie Carson, Father Ted, Father Dougall, Father Jack, Mrs Doyle,Dervla Kirwin,Graham Norton, Dara O Brien, lots of peoples Grandparents in Boston, Liam Neeson, U2, West Side, Michael Flatley from Riverdance, a lot of the dancers who arent american in Riverdance, Boyzone,James Joyce, those little twats who must be at least 22 years old who nicked my wallet in Dublin on International day, Jimmy Cricket, Terry Wogan your boys took one hell of a beating..............

ahh its the Craic....of my arse

Above: I'm a Leprachaun m'dear! - No youre not - your a dwarfish Irish pisshead now fuck off

On the news this morning, they said that the support for the Irish down in New Zealand was incredible and that there were at least 20,000 Irish people in that last game.

Thousands of Irish from a country in such dire straights that its economy resembles my arsehole after all that ‘real’ ale I had on Friday. A country with such a shit economy that even the Greeks are laughing at them and refusing to slip them a fiver. How can they afford it? My only thought is that maybe they have forgone a night out in Dublin and spent the £8000 on a trip with accommodation and tickets on the other side of the world.

Or not – maybe those Irish supporters are about as Irish because they

1. Their great great great great great great great great great great great great great great great gran was from Ireland
2. had been to Ireland once on a day trip
3. Had seen Ireland on the telly once
4. drunk a pint of Guinness
5. eaten a potato and went around peoples houses looking to fix their fence for couple of hundred pounds even though they did the damage in the first place

Every time I have been to the States I have met someone who could only fulfil one of those 4 and who, in an American accent so American it would out American Big Doug Hansen, Kermit the Frog or Ronald Reagan dressed as a cowboy outfit, called himself and Irishman. Fucking grow up…………

Well you know how much I love to take the piss out of the Irish but what they are when it comes to rugby is a class side. Yes they have had their days of choke but haven’t we all?? Look at their players.

I love how O Driscoll is so competitive and aggressive. He is a world class player who is and always will be considered a rugby legend. It also pisses me off that he isn’t a bad looking boy (he’s no Pearce Brosnan but hey I’d finger him….) and that he has, in interviews a great sense of humour.

Who else though? Well the team is packed full of not good but great players. I may want to punch Ronan o Gara in the face every time I see him run on the pitch but what a player to have on the field and I don’t think there is a side that has got the back row of Ferris, Heaslip and O Brien. Well obviously there is a side that has got the three of them in – its Ireland but you know what I mean. Yes there are other mercurial back rows but come on – I think O Brien may even be player of the tournament so far although I think that Nick Mullins voted for Jonny Wilkinson and then Jonny Wilkinsons friends cat for second place.

Above: Jonny picking up his ITV rugby person of the next 5 million years medal

Look there is loads more – the team are household names O Connell, Healy, O Callaghan, Kearney, Bowe, D’arcy, Jimmy Cricket and they are doing this without BIG JOHNNY HAYES for fuck sake.

sorry i have been hungover

Above: This is a picture of many of the current Irish teams 1st cap back in 1893 in france - although it was Paul O Connells 4th

Sorry I haven’t written anything but I actually kicked the arse out of it in Gloucester over the weekend with the Lovechickens and have just spent the last few days feeling like shit and thinking everybody hates me because I invented Jar Jar binks in the Star Wars films or that I decided to invade Iraq on the back of something written down by a student saying there were weapons of mass destruction there.

So what happened? Completely missed the French game, or should I say the Tonga game? What a result but what a bunch of lazy knobsacks the French were…well up until they time they had the easy opportunity to kick a penalty and nonchalantly scored a try. I was drinking by the England Scotland game and I needed to be – I am fed up of saying this but England knows how to win games even if they play like a bunch of twats. Scotland deserved to win but I think not one of the 3 (including Argentina have set the world on fire). I know the French lost to Tonga and were pretty shit against the Kiwis but you saw more flashes of brilliance during the tournament than any of the others put together.

I was very please to see the Wales match and the result – yes we should have won but then again we should have won last time. I do not give a flying fuck if you think I am bias but we have hardly seen some of the inter linking play that Wales partook in in that game – it was fantastic – we would’ve needed more against a better side but some of the better sides would not have performed like that against poorer ones…that’s confusing but its staying in. Ireland were pretty damned awesome as well, they blew away Italy with aggression, single mindedness and with the all blacks, South Africa and Wales are the inform side. Wales? But they lost to the Boks? I know but they played fantastically and with style – they are inform so shut it.

So what happens next? The simple answer is that I haven’t got a clue. The Ireland Wales QF is going to be amazing – great players at the top of their game. Young players out to prove themselves, seasoned professionals going great guns in their last chance saloons out to get the prize they deserve. Its going to be amazing.

England v France – Another super match because we all know they have one huge game in them although knowing Leivremental its probably a game of ‘buckaroo’ or hungry hippos. Both teams have such good players but the French are temperamental toss bags the English team are toss bags except for Chris Ashton who has delivered for my fantasy rugby side. It seems that Jonny has been picked which means more sock abuse for Nick mullins but who better to win in a knock out competition?

South Africa v Australia – brawn v an injured hotch potch of tidy players. Cooper can still decide but I fear it is the Boks game to lose.

Argentina V NZ – Argentina hasn’t brought much to the party so even without the mighty Carter I think the Kiwis will choke in the next match.