The great sitting down or standing up debate

By your leader

with the Rooster away for a bit i thought i would right about something close to my heart or my arse if you'd rather.

I don’t know why it started and I am certainly don’t know when it started but I do know where it started. It was the Abergwaun Hotel in Fishguard, through the bar door and just to your right. The weather was overcast and a selection of arch drinkers had converged here in the twilight hours of a Saturday to prepare for yet another caper of drinking and shenanigans.

The person I do remember who was there, who prompts me to write this raging debate, is the one and only master of Fencing Matty Miles. Not a Zorro-esque character who is an expert with the sword but rather a brash character with no social skills who is an expert with the hammer and a large sharp piece of wood.

However, I digress, we found out after being on this God’s earth for at least over a quarter of a century that

Blokes wipe their arses one of two ways and the other wau is abhorrent to the other (does that make sense?)

Now I can’t speak for everybody but from what I have gleaned from some of the boys is that I am part of a minority with my style of bottom cleaning. I am part of a group that actually stand up while wiping it.
Matty is part of the majority who sit down (crouch also applies) while wiping it. This is 2/3rds of everybody I have asked and I can only think that this must be down to misinformation or bad habits.

Now people can break these bonds and realise that there is another way. Surely you can’t get enough purchase when you are sitting down. Also one must look at comfort, sitting down and reaching around or through can’t be as comfortable as the good old fashioned stand which is manly. Anyone who has watched girls have a wee (Two fannies – I am thinking of you!) will know that they crouch down or sit therefore it is a girls thing and the other way is a mans.
My way.

I am glad we had this little chat and looking forward to you lot telling me you have changed your ways.

Overlord Fergatron
LC ½
The visible half of the leadership